I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
