Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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