What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
