spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
