quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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