Please, let me fuck your mom
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
