Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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