Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
