isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
