I'm really into asian looking animals
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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