Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
