my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I understand Curling. That high.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
