I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
