would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
