You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
