I just made out with a guy for $7.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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