hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
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