im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
