hell yes lets make some ravioli
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
