she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
