i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
