He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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