I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
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