Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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