at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
