I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
