Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
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