I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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