hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
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