I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
