We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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