how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
