Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
