I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
How's work?
Spinning.
I want her autograph on my taint
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
