She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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