You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
