First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I fill condoms, not promises.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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