sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
