Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
they need to just BURY HIM!
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
