ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
