i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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