Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
