I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
