You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
