what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
