I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
