he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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