This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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