I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
