At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
