ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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