how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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