you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
this hospital has no fireball
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
